This past week as I was suffering under the nasty bug, Eldest Son got himself locked up.
To hear him tell the story he didn't actually do anything, but he was riding around with someone who had enough weed on him to warrant a possession with intent charge.
He has had a lifetime of poor choices, with the entirely predictable bad results, but none of them have ever been his fault, of course. This is called "bad luck" by those who don't realize that we make our own luck.
Anyway, he burned up the phone lines at $10.00 per call (on my plan, naturally) to his sisters trying to get bailed out without letting me know about it, but finally had to call me to tell me what had happened. The first call he told me that he wouldn't be home for a while.
The second call was to tell me if I would put my property up as bail he could get out.
Last tax assessment period the house and land was assessed at $157K. His bail is $600.
He was hurt and surprised when I declined this generous offer.
My tax return came in this week as well, and I had already planned what I was going to do with it. First I was to replenish the credit card for the
tire purchases and
wheel repairs made earlier in the month, and then I was going to put
exhaust on the car, and finally it was vacation time.
Bottom line, I had the money to bail him out. In fact, I still do. And I could go downtown right now and bail him out.
Just as I always have.
Eight years ago he came to North Carolina from Florida to "straighten his life out" and get back on track. Eight years later he has accomplished nothing towards that goal.
He still doesn't have his GED. He has no vocational skills training that would help him get a good job. He hasn't worked a real job in over five years. He owes the state of Florida $24K on back child support and fees so he doesn't have his drivers license. No forward progress, and a bit of backwards progress.
He doesn't realize it just yet, but his life has changed. He will start his new life by sitting in jail until his April 1st court date. He will turn 30 years old the day after. We will see if he will spend that birthday in jail as well. When he does get out he will find that Dad is no longer willing to pay his bills.
One year from the day he gets out of jail he will have his GED, or he won't live at my house any more.
Two years from the day he gets out of jail he will have some sort of vo-tech training in progress, or he's out.
Three years from the day he gets out of jail he will be working in his new profession, or he's out.
Four years from now he's out anyway because I'm selling the house and getting out of the kid raising business altogether. By then Youngest Son will be 18 and he had better be graduated from school and starting on his new career path that doesn't include "sponge off of Dad" because he knows that option has been closed. At least his older brother has served as a good bad example in that regard, and I'm happy to say he's been scoring straight A's for the past few months.
He will get one single apology from me. I will apologize for not kicking his ass eight years ago.
His bail money sure does sound great on the car though.
UPDATE: Recent developments have me cautiously optimistic. He called me today and, without me prompting him, laid out his new life's plan which pretty much paralleled my life's plan for him. He usually figures out the right thing to do once he runs out of all the other options.
He even told me he didn't expect me to believe him, so he would just prove himself to me. We'll see if he sticks to it. That will be the real test.