29 May 2014


Twenty years ago today my first redhead was taken from this world by cervical cancer.*

I didn't deserve her for the short time I had her, and like a fool I walked away from her. This was long before her death, more than 10 years in fact. We were still in high school when I decided I didn't want to be "tied down" and I have since had plenty of time to regret that decision.

Today I remember her. Perhaps I will get the chance in the next life to admit to her what I never could in this one.

RIP Leonaye A. Bulger, 10 May 1966 - 31 May 1994

*I hate this disease. Damn I'm hard on my redheads, if the good Lord ever grants me another I will endeavor to take better care of her.


RabidAlien said...

Regrets suck. I will never claim to have words of wisdom, but I'm here if you need to vent.

Larry said...

They sure do. Much better to have scars than regrets.

Thanks for dropping by RA.

A Mindful Webworker said...

Didn't think I'd watch that whole video. But got caught up in it and did.

My first love, high school girlfriend. The future we talked about, sure we would have together. Then, I don't know. Dad died. My Step-Dad got weird. I had no good advisors. I told her I wanted out. I almost immediately regretted it. Too late. She wisely never took me back.

Forty-five years later, happy with my Mrs for forty, three kids grown, hoping for grandkids. No regrets about any of that, of course.

But I hurt that girl, and there was a road not only not taken but obliterated by one stupid decision. Our life together could have been horrible; I had a lot to learn before I could love again for real. Talked with her once more in college. She was pretty cold. Heard she married a football player and had a son, and then we had no friends in common and I heard no more. Always hoped she had a good life and was always treated well.

/nostalgia mode

Larry said...

Yep, ain't that the way it works.


Thanks for dropping by MWW!