So Thursday this happened.
Sunday night into Monday this happened.
Today I went out to move the trucklet over a bit to get it out of the way, and just out of curiosity I turned the key...and it started right up.
The coolant is still mysteriously gone, so I still have a problem, but at least now I know it didn't slip time and possibly damage valves or pistons.
I'll take it apart this weekend and inspect the heads. Maybe I will get lucky and just have to replace the head gaskets. That would be nice.
It's not all bad though. This happened Sunday also.
Valentines Day 2015 was the day I asked her to go out with me and she didn't run away screaming, so we've officially been "a thing" for a year now. It's been a good one.