20 May 2012

Suicide Is Painless

If you want to off yourself I'm fully supportive of your right to do so, providing you do it in such a way as to not cause harm (physical or financial, emotional trauma is something you have to deal with on your own) to others.  Pick a nice out of the way place (the high desert comes to mind, or maybe the deep woods) where no one is going to bother you and have at it.

Leave the FMJ's at home, get you a nice hollowpoint, and center mass is a good way to go. That way if you flub the first shot you can bleed out before you change your mind. Ropes work OK too, as long as you tie off to a high enough branch where you can't touch the ground (or other branches) before you get to the end of your rope, but pills are sort of slow and razor blades are exquisitely painful, so I've heard. Jumping is no good either, the human body can sometimes absorb a surprising amount of trauma and due to the resulting full paralysis it's unlikely you will get a second chance.*

If you are using pills or razors you're probably not serious about the whole undertaking anyway, so it's best to just check yourself in and save the fuss and bother of paying for the 9-1-1 call. Not to mention, the middlemen will very likely appreciate being left out in this instance. Howsomever, if you do decide to make a call as you down that Ambien don't get all butt-hurt when you wake up tied down in the psych ward. (If that was your intention all along be sure to call someone who cares, otherwise it may not work out the way you had it planned.) You want to check out, go in the middle of the night without warning. That way there isn't anyone around to stop you. Otherwise, it isn't much of a call for help if no one picks up the phone, is it?

Don't expect me to feel sorry for you either, cause I'm not the guy who's going to agree with the idea that you getting hauled off to be fitted for a hug-me jacket is exactly like little girls getting stuffed into gas chambers. They'll eventually let you out of the rubber room, not so much from the ovens.

EDIT: In other words, what he said.

*Note for the intellectually impaired, this is not a primer for taking yourself out. I assume no responsibility for your actions, successful or not.

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