War Stories

McThag tells a tale about falling off of a tank and finding a neat pair of boots. Other than the grievous bodily harm it's rather an amusing tale and I admit I laughed like a maniac as I read it. He's mostly healed up so it's funny now.

It puts me in mind of the time I fell off of an aircraft carrier. It was at night (I've worked the night shift most of my life, I prefer it) and I was walking backwards inspecting an aircraft and all of a sudden the ship just wasn't there anymore. My work crew said they watched my flashlight bob along beside the aircraft and then all of a sudden it just disappeared.

I ended up not in the catwalk...oh no, that would be too normal...but on one of the antenna platforms with no railing between me and the deep blue sea, right where the red box is in the picture. That's the ship (USS George Washington CVN-73), and even the right CAG (CVW-7) so I might have been on the ship when this picture was taken...but I digress.

 Funny thing is, there is a railing along the ship side of the platform, for reasons no one can explain, and as I stepped off of the deck edge my foot went between this railing and the side of the ship. I found myself dangling, flashlight in hand (believe me, you do NOT want to lose tools in Naval Aviation!), by one knee from this railing. I was able to kick myself free and stand on the platform. It was then I noticed the lack of outside railing.

They say the flashlight reappeared twice as quickly as it had disappeared. I was a lot younger then. Lighter. More nimble. Quicker. Today I'd probably just hold on to the inside rail and bawl like a stuck calf until someone pulled me back up. Of course today the only way I'll be on a carrier deck is as a tourist, pierside.

For those of you who would like to poke fun at my misfortune (like you think you're the first one to do that? Puh-leaze. I've been married. Twice. Once to a soul-less ginger redhead who would describe to me, in great detail, how she would spend my SGLI if I should off myself foolishly) here's some added fodder; I managed to fall off the ship and miss the water completely.

Ah, yeah. Good times, man. Good times.