I'm working both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day because "some of our employees don't celebrate Christmas" and if there is even one person working in my areas I, being maintenance, have to be there.
"So why do those of us who do have to be punished for that?"
"Because shut up you racist and celebrate some diversity."
UPDATE: But wait, there's more. Talking to my operators I find out they were told at least one of them per area had to "volunteer" to work Christmas eve and day, even if they didn't want to...and none of them did. The CEO's number is unlisted, shame, because I think he would really enjoy a midnight serenade on Christmas eve. Call it a Christmas carol.
In the interest of keeping this blog mostly PG-13, I'm putting this NSFW video under the fold.
I'm thinking about recording the audio for this and playing it over the loudspeakers if I can find a way to do it anonymously. Maybe I'll phone it in to the CEO on Christmas Eve as well.