Dear Senator

I've been watching this whole deal unfold, with the Russia thing that I don't quite understand (was it Trump colluding with them against Hillary or Hillary colluding against Trump, and what's the deal with that dossier they keep going on about?) and the other day you had that FBI guy, whatsisname, Strunk or something like that, and damn but that guy...that fuckin' guy...

I mean to tell ya that if you don't put his ass in the slammer for disrespecting Congress or whatever the hell you call it then you need to go apologize to every swingin' dick you ever put the screws to for it in the history of ever. I mean to tell ya, that guy just OOOZED disrespect  out of every pore of his body, not just for you...but for us, We the People, us little guys...you know, the guys you suck up to and lie to every two to four years to get us to vote for you so you can go suck the tax dollars out of my pocket for your cushy digs in DC and your fat ass paychecks with the free medical and dental.

Which is kinda what I'm here today for.

So my question, Senator, is after all the investigations and testimonies and dispositions and guys going to jail for not remembering they said and instead of or on the third of October at two thirty-seven exact EST and all of that...when are some of these people going to prison? And I don't mean the Scooter Libby kinda guys, I mean the big guys, the ones who sit on airport runways and schmooze to each other about looking the other way and then lie about talking about grandkids and such and swear to God on a stack full of bibles they never talked about what we all know they talked about. Those guys.

I mean, some of these guys, if I pulled half the shit they did I can guaran-damn-tee ya I wouldn't be sitting on some pile of cash from the book I just wrote making pathetic excuses for not doing my job, or even worse, flat breaking the law, no...hell my ass would be buried so far under the jail it would take a whole TEAM of geologists just to find it. But hell, these assholes are smugging it up on the Sunday news shows, so what gives?

I mean, there's that guy who went on national TV saying Hillary flat broke the law but no prosecutor would ever make a case against her. Really? And that Navy guy goes to jail for taking pictures of his bunk on the sub but whatsername stuffs classified documents in her panties and tries to sneak them out and nothing? Are you f'n KIDDING ME???

I remember reading that book, Atlas Shrugged or something like that, and they were talking about people with pull instead of ability making the decisions, and I thought it was a boring long-winded book at the time but I'm beginning to think, damn, did she nail it or what? And now I'm listening to people talk about the new civil war, and I mean to tell you...it bothers me.

Maybe it's just the 24 hour news cycles and such and they gotta fill the time with something, but I'm watching all these riots and assholes in pink hats screaming at the sky cause they lost elections and crazy people shooting congressmen who are playing baseball and I'm wondering...just how bad is it going to get?

Cause seriously, I know the only reason something bad hasn't happened is guys like me ain't got the time for that shit. See, the daughter's dance recital is next Tuesday, and she needed this dress see, but the budget just wouldn't handle it unless I pick up a little OT this week, which isn't a big deal cause we were kinda letting some things slide so we could make our numbers for end of quarter, but now that's over the boss is carping about getting caught up...so the OT is there. Only thing is, I can't do it past five Wednesday cause the boy has a baseball game that I promised I'd make it for and if I miss it the ex is gonna hold it over my head, and honestly that's just one more thing I really don't need from that bitch. And besides, that's my boy and I don't want to disappoint him any more than I have to. He used to look at me like I was some kinda hero, ya know? and lately...well, let's just say I understand the old man more now than I used to, and if he was still here God rest his soul I'd love to sit down and have a beer with him, but he worked his way into an early grave when he was in his 40's busting his ass and not taking care of himself, providing for us, and I was such an ungrateful bastard. If I had only known, ya know?

Which reminds me, the old lady is bitching about me making a doctors appointment cause I got a little dizzy mowing the lawn last weekend, but what the hell it was like 100 degrees in the shade and I felt better when I got some water in me, so what's the big deal? except my dad...well, you know. And my buddy at work just got a new fishing boat, man it's a beaut, but if I want to go out on the lake with him Sunday like he invited me to I promised the missus that I'd get some stuff done around the house on Saturday. Happy wife happy life, right?

Point is, I ain't got time for all that. Which is why we hire guys like you, to take care of stuff like this. And then you go to Washington and set yourselves up like kings, which we mostly don't mind as long as you leave us the hell alone, mostly, but once in a while...it would be nice if you would do your damn jobs. Cause I don't wanna live in a Matthew Bracken novel, ya know? I like my comfortable life, I like sleeping in on Saturdays and grilling in the afternoons, and days on the lake, and tee times, and all of that, which is why I'm willing to put up with the bullshit from you jackasses that I put up with. But seriously, it's getting out of hand and we're way overdue for tar and feathers if you know what I mean...and if you don't maybe it's time for you to pick up one of those Bracken books.

Thing about those books, it doesn't end well for any of us, which is probably closer to the truth than what some of these idiots are spouting off about.

So step up and take care of this shit like I hired you to do, cause I've done my time in shitholes like Trashcanistan and the former Yugoslavia and such garden spots as Uncle Sam sends his uniformed folks to, and even though I may not have seen any actual fighting I've seen enough to appreciate that it doesn't happen here. And I know some guys. And the stories THEY tell...well they ain't pretty. Which makes me even MORE glad we have guys like that, and that we don't have to deal with the stuff they dealt with Over There over here. And I'd kinda like to keep it that way. And all these Antifa pussies and the other assorted dingleberries who have never seen shit like that and think it might be fine and dandy to have a little war over here? I don't wanna have to deal with them. Not that I won't, if it comes to that, (I have my battle plan all laid out, I'm gonna follow Johnny and just hand him ammo cause the guy is just a stone cold bad-ass, he doesn't talk about it but I've seen his medals) but I don't wanna. So handle it.

So that's about all I got to say.

Bottom line: my advise to you, take care of it and let guys like me sleep.

It would be best for all of us.


(disclaimer, my Dad is alive and well thanks, this was just a sort of stream of conscious thing that I came up with listening to some of the guys I know)