The Next Day

My parents came today all the way from Iowa, and they brought my younger brother and sister with them. I haven't seen my brother in 12 years, so it was great to have him here. I just wish it could have been for a happier occasion.

Laura always teased me that she was going to trade me in for the newer model, but I don't know if they would have been able to live together.

We have planned a private ceremony for Sunday afternoon so that everyone could be here. Laura touched many lives at my son's school where she worked briefly before she got too sick to do so. Everyone wants to come and say goodbye.

Among the everyone is the teacher of the school who adopted Laura as a younger sister. I don't know what I would have done without her, she has been a rock that I have been able to lean on for the past two days.

I have had a lot of practice in the past couple of days of losing it and having to get a grip on myself. This morning I woke up and the first thing I noticed was the oxygen generator was off. The next thing I noticed is that she wasn't there.

My oldest son poked his head in a couple hours later as I sat there on the bed in tears. It was his custom to check on Mom first thing in the morning. When she wasn't there, he got a little practice at losing it as well. We hugged for a while and I told him that we would get enough together for one of us at least. It will be a long hard haul, but eventually we will be OK.

I found out today that she knew how bad off she was. She knew that she didn't have very long, but she didn't tell me. She didn't want anything to change between us, she wanted me to have a good life.

And I have.