01 May 2011

Troubled Times

I work nights, so the night before my scheduled work nights I force myself to stay awake so that I can sleep the next day. During those efforts I get my household chores done, but I spend a lot of time surfing the interwebs.

This morning I ran across something that unexpectedly tore off scabs I thought had healed at least into scars. It's been almost a year, but every once in a while I am forced to acknowledge that the raw aching pain of it is not far beneath the surface even now.

As I read Matt's words I was reminded of the helplessness, of the anger, of the despair. The worst part is knowing that there is nothing that you can do, time will run its course and have its way with all of us in the end, but watching it happen to someone who holds your soul in their hands is surely worse than having it happen to you.

In the end she knew, but she did not tell me. She did not want anything to change between us, and she always got what she wanted. Cancer may have killed her, but it never beat her.

In the end none of us know how long we have on God's earth, so we have to make the most of what we have. No matter if it is one year or a hundred years be sure to tell those you love that you do love them, because one day it will be your last chance to do so, and that day comes and goes in an eyeblink.

In the end, as the song goes, you have to live like you're dying, because you are from the day you are born.

And finally, in the end, just as surely as there is pain in this world there is peace beyond. I have that on very good authority.

My prayers are with you Matt. God bless.


Matt said...

Larry, thank you very much for this post. My wife and I found it to be very thoughtful and heartfelt. As I said before on a previous post on my blog, I sincerely believe that all prayers are good, and those that come from people who have been in your situation or similar, count for yet more.

Wife is doing well at the moment and we are hopeful that things will turn out ok in the end.

Larry said...

That is good to hear Matt. My best to you and your bride, long days and pleasant nights.
Thanks for dropping by!

PBJdreamer said...


I am so sorry for your loss. And you are so right, life is a precious gift.

that is all

Larry said...

Thanks for dropping by PBJ.